You're doing it wrong

A word to bank robbers: Always be sure to arrange your getaway in advance. If you go around after the robbery, offering strangers $1,000 for a ride to the next town, it looks suspicious.

Police say a robber in Capitola, CA, did just that. Worse, he got away with it, at least for now.

Full story here.

Everyone needs an editor

Editors help you watch out for unintended double entendres, such as the one I spotted yesterday painted (twice!) in giant letters on the windows of a uniform store in Redding, CA. Here's what it said:

DICKIE

SCRUBS

35 % OFF!

What a bargain!

You're doing it wrongest

OK, all you wanted sex offenders, where's the last place you should take a bath? Come on, think hard. What's that? The restroom at the police department? Hah, good one! No one would be so stupid --

Wait, what?

Oh, my. It seems a wanted sex offender in my new hometown of Santa Cruz, CA, did not get the memo about no-bathing-at-the-cop-shop. Police say a visitor to headquarters took his kids into the restroom and found Darrick Burch, 53, fully naked and washing in the sink. The visitor fetched a cop, who found Burch still naked and merrily bathing.

Police arrested Burch on an outstanding warrant for failing to register properly as a sex offender.

Full story here.

You're doing it wrong

How many times do we have to say it? If you're going to commit a felony, be sure you have gas in your getaway car.

A trio of idiots in Albuquerque, NM, ran out of gas one block from the motel they'd just robbed, police say. No question it was the right car, since the robbers had parked directly outside the motel office, giving the clerks a clear view of their license plate.

Worse yet, police say the robbery was the second motel that the trio had tried to knock over that night. At the first one, the clerk refused to answer the locked door until the robbers gave up and went away.

The complete story, if you can stomach it, is here.

They fired all the copy editors

Assorted goofs in today's local paper reminded me that I haven't done a typo roundup lately. I didn't have to look far.

--On KOAT/Albuquerque's website today, we find this headline: "Woman, 65, Dragged by Purse Through Parking Lot."

Man, that's one angry purse.

--On redding.com today, we learn that City Council candidates want to "reign in spending."

Not unless "Spending" is a kingdom I never heard of before.

--I love the fishing report at the San Jose Mercury-News, and the pains taken not to be repetitive. The result is daily profundity like this: "Striped bass are all over San Pablo Bay."

There goes the neighborhood!