Fun with typos

We all make typos on Facebook, and I've spotted some doozies lately:

--A business with computer problems asked FB friends to "please bare with us."

--One friend called another an "absolute dillface."

--A barbecue dish was described as "grilled chic on a stick." Tres stylish.

--Most painful of all, this: "I've got broken light fixtures in my hose."

In love with our new housekeeper

We've got a new personality here at our house, a conscientious worker who's really earning her keep: Our robot vacuum cleaner, Ruby.

Our old vacuum gave up the ghost in a puff of foul-smelling smoke recently, and we used the opportunity to purchase, as a replacement, a Roomba. So far, we love it.

The Roomba sits quietly most of the day, recharging in a docking station plugged into the wall. Whenever we tell it to, it takes off across the floor, vacuuming its ass off.

It's got an electric eye so it senses impending objects and slows down before it bumps against them, and it can get itself into and out of some tight spots, including the forest of chair legs under our dining table.

Ruby (apparently it's Roomba tradition to give them names) vacuums the entire house, under beds, the works. Much more thoroughly that I, personally, ever vacuumed when I was in charge of pushing the machine around the house. It's probably not powerful enough to handle a daily diet of the kind of messes left by kids and pets, but it seems perfect for our empty nest.

You'd think a robot vacuum would be a real time-saver, but I spend a LOT of time following Ruby around the house, marveling at the way she crawls along the baseboards or how she senses her battery getting low and finds her way back to the docking station all by herself.

I talk to Ruby the way you would speak to a pet or a small child. "Are you stuck there, Ruby? Getting tired?" Once in a while, she talks back, including a really cute "uh-oh" tone when there's a problem.

A couple of drawbacks: Ruby doesn't like the area rugs in the bathroom. Their edges roll up and get snagged. Uh-oh. Also, the Roomba works on an odd pattern that, while covering the entire area eventually, does leave weird tracks in the carpet, as if the vacuuming had been done by an extremely conscientious crazy person.

Now if I can find a robot to do the dusting . . .

Kindle markdown

I've slashed the price on the Kindle version of my hilarious bank heist caper "Fool's Paradise." Now only $4.99.

"Fool's Paradise" is the story of five strangers who join together to rob a bank in swanky Coronado, CA. No honor among thieves, especially when they're amateurs!

See all my Kindle offerings here.

More fun with typos

From the front page of today's Record-Searchlight here in Redding, CA: "Republicans reek to avoid adding to debt."

I'm pretty sure the newspaper meant "seek," but things have been different at the R-S since Dr. Freud started working on the copy desk.

I recently saw a Craigslist real estate ad that mentioned "double pain windows." Imagine how bad that view must be.

Finally, there was the professional author whose Facebook post the other day referred to "overcoming a handy cap." That's when you put your cap in an inconvenient place? So it's not so handy?

Kindle inroads

Continuing work on my nascent Kindle empire, I've now e-published the book that started it all: "Lonely Street."

My first novel introduced hapless private eye Bubba Mabry, who's hired by what appears to be the living Elvis. The King's not ready to come out of hiding (yet), but tabloid reporters are hot on his trail.

"Lonely Street" also was the basis for the movie that's now available on DVD.

This is the third book I've published so far for Kindle apps, and I've got more (including at least one e-book-only thriller) coming soon.

You can see my Kindle offerings (and my actual paper books as well) by clicking here.

You're doing it wrong

Today's tip for aspiring criminals: If you think there's even a remote chance that you might rob a bar later in the evening, it's better if you don't wear that T-shirt that has your photo and name printed on the front. Also, don't leave the shirt behind for the police to find.

The cops say Kendell Swader, 22, of Murfreesboro, Tenn., forgot those important rules during a drunken holdup at a saloon called The Spot. He's now under arrest.

Full story here.

Buy our empty nest

In case you missed it over the holiday weekend, we lowered the asking price of our Redding, CA, home to $419,000. What a deal!

Palm trees, flowers, views and an inground pool. Four bedrooms, two baths, three-car garage. To see details (and cool slide show), click here.

Yet more fun with typos

As reported recently, I've done a lot of high-speed typing lately, and that has resulted in some interesting typos:

--"camera bang"
--"sightning"
--"peeking in the widow"

I was talking about music, but it came out "concrete promoter."

This one for NRA members: "Gunsot."

Grossest: "tick carpet underfoot." Eeww.

This typing was part of the Kindle prep for "Lonely Street," the first Bubba Mabry mystery. The one they made into a movie. Coming soon to Kindle and other e-book formats.