Checking the traps

I’m going to sit down at my computer and get right to work. I’ve got a lot to do and no time for lollygagging.

I’ll just check my e-mail and make sure there’s nothing urgent there, then I’m busy. Count on it.

OK, nothing in the old in-box that can’t wait. I should get off the Internet and get to work. But first I should check my blog. Maybe somebody’s made a comment. I might need to respond. Hmm. Nothing so far.

While I’m at it, I’ll check the Google Analytics and see if anyone’s reading the blog. Hmm. The numbers remain the same. I’ve got a loyal readership, but they appear to be the same handful of people, over and over. Don’t know why I bother--

Wait. Don’t get caught up in those negative thoughts. Too much work to do. Get off the Internet and--

Just a quick check of Facebook. See what all my "friends" are up to. Hmm. Not much new there. Nobody commented on my latest missive.

Oh, look. Someone e-mailed me a joke. Haha. That’s a good one.

Enough. Time to get to work.

Just one more Internet stop. I’ll see whether anyone’s bought one of my books on Amazon.com. Hmm. Those sales numbers don’t show any improvement.

Well, off to a rollicking start this morning! Lots of encouraging numbers out there. Really makes a fellow want to get busy and write something.

While I’m at Amazon, I might as well see when my latest shipment will arrive. Hmm. Looks like it’ll be a while. Amazing how you can track your shipments these days. With pinpoint accuracy, you can tell when the Postal Service has delivered your package to Guam.

What did people do before the Internet? They just sat around, wondering when their purchases would arrive. That seems better, somehow. Internet tracking takes all the suspense out of the transaction.

Remember how exciting it was, when you were a little kid, waiting for something to come in the mail? You sent in your cereal box tops to get a Magic Decoder Ring and, for the next four to six weeks, you were the first one to the mailbox every day, heart pounding, awaiting your package. Then the Magic Decoder Ring showed up, and it was cheap plastic junk and--

Whoa. Gotten way off track there. Need to focus. Lots of work to do. Right after a quick check of my e-mail.

Oh, look. There’s a news update. Better read that. Got to stay informed.

Wow, where does the time go? I swear, I go to look at one little article and, next thing you know, I’ve scanned five different newspapers and read a dozen blogs and laughed at Fark.com and consulted Wikipedia and checked my blog analytics six more times (still no readers).

Now I’m hungry. Guess I should break for lunch. But I haven’t accomplished anything. I don’t deserve to eat. I’m a goldbrick, a time-waster, a lollygagger.

True, but I’m a hungry lollygagger, so the work will have to wait. If nothing else, going to kitchen will get me away from the Internet.

Then I’ll return to my desk and buckle down and really hammer out some work. Right after I check my e-mail.


bequik said...

Love it, love it, love it!
You have provided a perfect description of my plan for quickly clearing the inbox...then I get sidetracked reading various bloggers, forwarding a truly funny joke, or sharing the amazing performance of the 16 year old violinist with music-loving friends all over the world.
Janet Tyrrel

Anonymous said...

OMG, you have nailed my day as I "work" from home. I'm sure I show up on your analytics as a regular reader/stalker who checks your blog about ten times a day in case you have posted another humorous and insightful bit about living with teenagers and working from a home office. I LOVE your writing. I am a recruiter who works from home and the first few years were great, now, however, I seem to have developed ADD - truly it's "ew is that a squirrel outside my window, cool......."
Thank you for this blog entry, I will probably come back and read it a few more times today in between snacks and laundry and "work".

Uncle Skip, said...

I wonder what my wife's gonna say when she sees this?