Split shift

Like many of my fellow authors, I'm busily publishing my backlist on Kindle and other e-book platforms. My workdays are split between writing the new novel and dipping into books I wrote years ago.

The latest novels to become available as e-books are WITCHY WOMAN and SHAKY GROUND, third and fourth in my seven-book Bubba Mabry series. Only $2.99 each. I'll have the fifth one in the series, DIRTY POOL, up on Kindle by the end of the week.

I'm one of those authors who rarely reads his own work after it's published. Typos or mistakes make me crazy; stuff I wrote years ago sometimes makes me cringe. But I actually enjoyed proofreading these Bubba books. Still funny and weird and fast-paced.

I found quirks and allusions that still pop up in my writing. This included one line that I'd used fifteen years ago (something about New Mexico's silvery sunlight and turquoise skies) that I was trying to wedge into my work-in-progress. No memory that I'd used it before. Thought I was being original.

Anyhow, I still love Bubba, after all these years. Now that e-books are shaking up publishing, maybe I'll even write another Bubba Mabry adventure one of these days...

For now, I'm halfway through the first draft of my new standalone, A BOX OF PANDORAS, and I'm having a ball.

Everyone needs an editor

Editors help you watch out for unintended double entendres, such as the one I spotted yesterday painted (twice!) in giant letters on the windows of a uniform store in Redding, CA. Here's what it said:

DICKIE

SCRUBS

35 % OFF!

What a bargain!

They fired all the copy editors

Assorted goofs in today's local paper reminded me that I haven't done a typo roundup lately. I didn't have to look far.

--On KOAT/Albuquerque's website today, we find this headline: "Woman, 65, Dragged by Purse Through Parking Lot."

Man, that's one angry purse.

--On redding.com today, we learn that City Council candidates want to "reign in spending."

Not unless "Spending" is a kingdom I never heard of before.

--I love the fishing report at the San Jose Mercury-News, and the pains taken not to be repetitive. The result is daily profundity like this: "Striped bass are all over San Pablo Bay."

There goes the neighborhood!

More fun with typos

A rental ad on Craigslist said the bathroom comes with a "pedastool sink." They may be using that sink improperly.

On the front page of today's local paper, in oversized, extra-noticeable type, we get this: "all the options should be exlored." I agree. I've exlored some options myself, usually into a handkerchief.

Best, though, was the line from a local "news" website in a column on sex and kissing: "In the throws of a great sexually charged event." Apparently, that's the best way to throw your back out.

More fun with typos

On CNN.com recently, an article made a reference to "sexual morays." I knew those eels were up to something.

Over at Facebook, a friend of a friend wrote about a "heroine addict." Apparently, that's someone who's obsessed with Wonder Woman.

In a real estate ad for a rural property, the copy said, "Bring the animal." Let's hope they meant pets, because that's no way to talk about another person's husband.

Not a typo, exactly, but there was the story about the baby porcupine who was "orphaned and imprinted on humans." Ouch.

Fun with typos

More hilarity from Craigslist real estate ads:

--"Just steppes away from the beach!" (That sounds really far.)

--"Bedroom is large enough to hold California King Bad."

You can now start referring to me as King Bad of California. Thank you.

Fun with typos

We all make typos on Facebook, and I've spotted some doozies lately:

--A business with computer problems asked FB friends to "please bare with us."

--One friend called another an "absolute dillface."

--A barbecue dish was described as "grilled chic on a stick." Tres stylish.

--Most painful of all, this: "I've got broken light fixtures in my hose."

More fun with typos

From the front page of today's Record-Searchlight here in Redding, CA: "Republicans reek to avoid adding to debt."

I'm pretty sure the newspaper meant "seek," but things have been different at the R-S since Dr. Freud started working on the copy desk.

I recently saw a Craigslist real estate ad that mentioned "double pain windows." Imagine how bad that view must be.

Finally, there was the professional author whose Facebook post the other day referred to "overcoming a handy cap." That's when you put your cap in an inconvenient place? So it's not so handy?

Yet more fun with typos

As reported recently, I've done a lot of high-speed typing lately, and that has resulted in some interesting typos:

--"camera bang"
--"sightning"
--"peeking in the widow"

I was talking about music, but it came out "concrete promoter."

This one for NRA members: "Gunsot."

Grossest: "tick carpet underfoot." Eeww.

This typing was part of the Kindle prep for "Lonely Street," the first Bubba Mabry mystery. The one they made into a movie. Coming soon to Kindle and other e-book formats.

More fun with typos

This is the best one yet. Last night, at a Chinese restaurant here in Redding, we spotted this in the seafood section of the menu: